


inhibitions

by brightsmoon



Series: dear, home. [5]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Families of Choice, Future Fic, Hair Washing, Haircuts, Heart-to-Heart, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, Married Life, Mentioned Opeli/Fareeda (The Dragon Prince), Mentions of Violence, Passing the mantle, Reassurance of Love, Scars, Sunrises, Talking, Viren's A+ Parenting Skills, raydiaweek2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-29 17:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20086330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightsmoon/pseuds/brightsmoon
Summary: Opeli offers her a position which Claudia is hesitant to take, old ghosts lingering in her peripheral but Rayla kisses her hands, cuts her hair, and she flies.RaydiaWeek2019 - Day Five ; Hair / Symbolism





	inhibitions

**Author's Note:**

> late, i know, i'm so sorry! i just had no access to be able to post this yesterday. day six will follow this quickly! hopefully i'll be back on schedule by tomorrow.
> 
> title; [chainsaw](https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3190185/chainsaw/) by anya

"Opeli offered me a position as her apprentice."

It's late - balmy summer nights giving way to cool autumn evenings. Rayla sits up, looking down at her wife with a giddy smile on her face.

"Are you serious? 'Dia, that's awesome!"

Staring up the canopy of their bed, Claudia shrugs. "I don't know if I'm going to take it. I mean, she obviously means for me to take over once she leaves for Evenere and to Queen Fareeda. I just don't know if I'm right for the job."

"Don't you want to help Ezran?"

Claudia turns her head, looking over at where Rayla has tucked her legs beneath her. "Wha - of course I do!"

"Then you should take the job," Rayla smiles, victorious. Claudia narrows her eyes; she walked _right_ into that one. Figures. "You always say you want to help Ezran but don't know how. This is it!"

Instead of answering, Claudia fiddles with her hands. "Yeah," she says distantly, "I guess it is."

Rayla sighs. "Look," she murmurs," laying down next to her wife and propping herself up on an elbow so she can study Claudia's profile, "Master of Ceremonies is a big deal. Opeli won't be around for much longer, we all know it. She's done well in her time but now she looks to you, 'Dia. _You._ Ezran looks to you. This means they trust you and your judgment."

Even after all these years, Claudia can feel Viren breathe down her neck.

"But my Father-"

Rayla sits up, taking her hands and pulling her up. Making a surprised sound, Claudia jerks into a sitting position, helpless to do anything else.

Her wife's eyes are blazing and Claudia finds she can't look away.

"Claudia. Listen to me." Rayla squeezes her hands. "You are _not_ your Father."

Without a word, they both look down at her hands and Claudia bites down on her lower lip so she doesn't cry. Despite all of the physical therapy and medicines she's gone on over the years, pastes she's spread over the scars and prayed to work, there's still puckered white healed cuts littering her palms and fingers. Although she hasn't touched the burnt spellbook in years, she still struggles to feel things with her hands.

Biting her lip doesn't work and her eyes water with the pain. Rayla continues, trapping her hands in her own so Claudia can't look away.

"The war is over - your Father is gone. He's no longer able to control you. You have free will, Claudia. You are forgiven, don't punish yourself for his crimes. You have the opportunity to step up and do something great, please don't let him get inside your head. You're worth it. You deserve this."

Claudia sobs, a smile on her face but Rayla doesn't stop. "You _deserve_ this," she stresses, grasping Claudia's hands tighter with every word. Her voice softens. "You deserve it."

"I deserve it," Claudia murmurs shakily. Rayla's smile is soft, encouraging.

_"Again."_

"I deserve it."

"Once more."

Claudia breathes in heavily through her nose, exhales long. "I deserve it."

With a nod and a wider smile, Rayla guides them back under the covers. Claudia's eyelids flutter as the blanket is laid over them - she doesn't remember being this tired. Exhaustion weighs on her head like concrete.

"Rayla-"

"I'm here," her wife soothes and takes the hand that had been extending. Claudia hums, letting her eyes slide closed as a four-fingered hand combs through her hair.

Silence falls over them like a breeze. Claudia is lighter, floating, safe underneath the ministrations of Rayla's hands, secured to the shore by her wife's words. She's tethered against the tide of her thoughts and when Rayla's nails barely scrape against her scalp, she moans languidly, a murmured sound that draws a small chuckle from her wife's lips.

She doesn't know how long later she speaks - all she knows is that the world is blurring and softening around her, colors dimming in the best of ways beneath the oil lamps that burn low at the corners of their shared chamber.

"Rayla?"

A hum meets her and Claudia smiles, eyes still closed. "I think I'm going to cut my hair."

Rayla's hand doesn't stop combing through her hair but Claudia can feel them slow slightly. Her voice is hesitant but curious, listening. "Why?"

"It just feels right," she says quietly. "I don't know _why_, but it's-"

Rayla leans down and kisses her.

Claudia cracks open an eye to see her wife smiling down at her, haloed by the oil lamp's glow, framed by the rich green of their chamber's walls and twinkling stars beyond through the doors to the balcony. "I think you should do it."

"Really? Won't you miss it?"

Her smile is wide. "I will miss braiding it after baths until my fingers smell like lavender, but if you want to, you should do it."

"Alright," Claudia murmurs and lets her eyes close again. "I will. I'm going to go to Opeli tomorrow and tell her I accept."

Rayla's lips press into her forehead and the sheets shift until her horns bump into Claudia's jaw. She settles quickly, breath fanning against Claudia's collarbones.

"I'm proud of you, Claudia."

Her hand lays across Claudia's stomach, tangling four fingers with five. Above her, Claudia's jaw tilts into what Rayla knows is a smile.

"'Love you," Claudia whispers, slurred with sleep.

Rayla snuggles deeper into her chest without her horns poking into her skin. "I love you too," she murmurs.

A snore meets her words and Rayla chuckles before letting her own eyes slide closed. It's been a long day and she sinks into the mattress against Claudia's side.

She's happy to be home.

* * *

The next morning, the sun has barely crested the horizon to cast liquid gold against the highest tower of the Katolis castle when Claudia knocks at the doors of the Great Hall.

"Come in," a voice calls and Claudia pushes open the mahogany doors.

Early-morning sunlight falls across the cobblestones, creeping up the opposite walls to where the tapestries of the crests of the Pentarchy and Katolis hang. Her footsteps are muffled by the fine red carpet and Opeli looks up as she approaches the dias.

She's sitting on the second step leading to the empty throne. Claudia thinks Ezran still asleep - he still loves sleeping late, all these years later. She smothers a yawn.

Peace has made her enjoy sleeping in, too.

"Claudia," Opeli smiles. "I didn't expect to see you so early."

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," Claudia apologizes but Opeli waves her off before she's even finished the sentence. Instead, she pats the spot next to her and Claudia sits.

It's silent for a moment except when Opeli's quill scratches something against parchment. Claudia closes her eyes and relishes the sunlight on her face - a comforting warmth. "Honestly, I didn't expect to find you here."

Opeli chuckles and Claudia peeks open one eye. "Sorry for leading you in a goose chase around the castle. I just like watching the sunrises from here. A new beginning every day, you know?"

Absent-mindedly, Claudia spins a finger around a strand of her hair. It barely brushes her shoulders, uneven and choppy, perfectly her. Rayla had cut it that morning, Claudia sitting at their vanity watching her wife's tongue stick between her lips as she concentrated, scissors making muted snipping noises.

"I do," Claudia murmurs. Opeli's mouth quirks upwards knowingly.

"Looks like it. I like it, by the way. Suits you nicely."

Claudia smiles back at her and Opeli stands. She tucks the papers beneath her arm and holds out her hand. "Ready, my apprentice?"

Her future flashes before her, pure white like Opeli's hood, falling around her shoulders. Claudia smiles up at the older woman and takes her hand.

"I am."


End file.
